Probably two things have come to your mind when you first read the title of this post. 1-Is Waqas mad to think so, people do not bury their daughters any more (may be somebody did long back in history)? 2-Who asked Waqas to do so, even when he is not yet married?
Well, this is what exactly happening here with many girls in Pakistan (I don’t know about the rest of S.A yet) by their parents. But it has come into a totally different form.
Parents, mostly from middle & lower middle class are intentionally or unintentionally doing it. They usually grow their daughters totally on their own way, which is very scary for almost all the girls.
The wish to marry off their daughter in a rich family where she can avail all possible luxuries has resulted in disasters of many girls’ lives. And interestingly, the parents love their daughters so much and they all do is for their girl’s happy life. Let’s get a better understanding of this picture.
Parents usually send their girls to schools happily. And by the time a girl gets her 15+ problems start for her. Her education and career path shall be decided by the
girl herself elders of the family, including parents, uncles, neighbors and everybody who comes under the title of ELDER.
The girls have to study sciences or any other subject but not sports / music.
because society has objection on it. More she should just do as being ordered by Elders. This is the first step to bury a daughter.
Fortunately or unfortunately girl do her studies well, meanwhile mother teaches her the home tasks like cooking for an upcoming big family (in-laws). Finally the girl gets some good education, so now it is again time for Elders to jump in. Instead of supporting her, they impose their line for her profession again. You can become only a Medical Doctor or a teacher.
Believe me it is happening all around me, but the worst has yet to come.
Our girl is beautiful, educated and can do all home tasks well, including cooking for the whole family. So let’s find a rich guy for her, everything else like education, character and social respect of the guy is secondary. No body is interested in girl’s own decision because she is new to life and only Elders can take the best decision for her. If she will speak for herself, that behavior is unacceptable for everyone and she’ll be titled as disobedient etc.
So parents marry their girl with that guy, and many things reveal afterwards. The only thing which was true about the boy was that he has the money.
But he only married for one reason, i.e it is compulsory and he wanted a beautiful wife to enjoy his married life. She is treated as she was sold, and every day is big challenge for her. Unfortunately it is all accepted here silently.
More than 60% Pakistanis families are middle classed, including mine. And middle class in more social, religious and patriot then any other in Pakistan, and they have huge impact on the values of society.
Friends, it needs to be changed. I know there is a future generation of stars (both males & females) in our land that we must help out. More importantly they must help themselves. Please grow your children well and let them do what they want to. Ensure them of your support and guide them.
I have no sister (we are four brothers only), but in future if I’ll have a daughter, I’ll not bury her. Would you?
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